A Personal Test in Patience and Tolerance

I consider myself to be a tolerant and polite person for the most part. I make a very conscious effort to be a gracious guest and  patron, not only when I am traveling, but also in the homes, restaurants, stores and other businesses when I am at home. If visiting a foreign country, I try whenever possible to learn a few basic social words such as hello, goodbye, please, thank you, excuse me, etc., in the native language in order to show respect for those who live in the country I am visiting.

To be clear, I am not professing to be a seasoned world traveler, having only been out of the U.S. three times prior to this visit to India. On one of these occasions I befriended a Belgian family who gave me the very gracious compliment of telling me that I was, “not like most Americans.” While I love the U.S., I understood immediately that they meant this as s compliment and appreciated my genuine interest in their native culture. I was raised in a very open-minded, liberal home where I was taught no real prejudices, except for perhaps an intolerance for narrow-minded, intolerant or otherwise prejudice people. All in all before coming to India I felt confident that I would have nothing but appreciation and respect for the people and culture here, including their accompanying nuances.

I regret to say that I was wrong about myself. As much as I hate to admit it,   I am a “typical American,” in several ways. I should have seen this coming:

I speak up loudly and often in group situations.
I am prompt, direct and strive for perfection.
I rarely shy away  from confrontation.
I am independent to such a degree that I sometimes unintentionally, alienate myself from others.
I am driven to succeed by a force that can only be explained by the characteristically American ideal of Manifest Destiny.

All of these things I realize have made me unintentionally act, or at least be perceived by others,  as impatient, rude and/or intolerant. I have caught myself in these situations before, and because I almost never intend to be rude or offensive to others, I apologize for my actions and work to be the kind of person I want to be. Other times, it’s not until after the situation has passed that I realize I have spoken or behaved inappropriately.

This happened to me today. I was complaining about the slow service in our hotel at breakfast, just as I had the day before. Tired of waiting for someone to bring the tea that I had requested, I simply got up and poured it myself.  The second time I got up to get  a refill, one of the hotel employees offered to pour it for me once I already had the pot in hand. I told him that I had asked for tea and no one brought it, so I would rather get it myself. Upon sharing this interaction with a fellow student she reminded me that service is simply slower here and that things take a little longer.

Later when I was packing to leave, it hit me: I was being that Asshole American who makes citizens in other countries think we are all rude!

As I thought about various social situations I have been in during our time here, I realized that there have been other occasions when I have been impatient or annoyed with the service here, be it the slow moving line at the checkout counter, at servers taking (from my perspective) a long time to take our orders, or the salespeople at the stores who seemed to hover over me as I shopped. In these cases I had said nothing, but I had felt annoyed.

I KNEW BETTER! One of the main goals of this trip was for each of us to act as contemporary anthropologists and ethnographers. As one of our readings, Ethnography for Marketers (Mariampolski), stated, in order to gain knowledge about a culture, we must study our subjects in their environments while suspending our own assumptions, judgements, and categorizations. I am truly ashamed of myself for not having done a better job of stepping away from my American self-reference criterion in order to truly embrace and appreciate the Indian culture. While it may have taken me nearly a week to come to this realization, I’m glad that I did. I am making a conscious effort to be more cognizant of my actions, words, and perceptions in order to avoid another instance of (albeit inadvertent), cultural imperialism.

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India: A Study of Cultural Paradox

In the final paper I wrote for International Advertising last semester, I struggled to fully explain how the paradoxes that exist within a culture help define the culture itself.

Of course I understood what a cultural paradox was, and could give several examples thereof. For instance, the United States is considered an independent society, rather than a collective one. However, individually, we also place a large emphasis on the participation in, association with or membership to various groups, clubs, and organizations. So, Americans are independent, but we still associate and in some ways, define ourselves through the various groups to which we belong. See the a paradox?

What I couldn’t put my finger on was how these paradoxes actually helped to define the culture itself. In Mother Pious Lady, Santosh Desai discusses many of the cultural paradoxes that exist within the Indian culture, being here now, it is easy to see how these paradoxes not only exist, but truly define India.

A frequent observation of these paradoxes lies in the overall cleanliness of the Indian people. Indians are known for taking pride in their appearance and are meticulously well-groomed. Nearly every man you see on the street is wearing freshly washed clothes, has his hair neatly cut and combed and is clean-shaven, save his mustache if it is his preference. The women also take great care in their appearance, wearing fresh, brightly colored saris or other traditional Indian clothing with coordinating jewelry. Their hair is pulled back in a neat, well-oiled braid or bun and their make-up, if wearing any, is expertly applied. The children reflect this same care in grooming. Even of those too poor to wear shoes, most all have clean faces, neatly braided hair and clean clothes. The contrast to this impeccable reflection of cleanliness and grooming is that the very same, precisely groomed people will dump their trash right outside their doors and in fact as a whole, the standards of cleanliness and sanitation fall far below those of the Western world. Part of this can be attributed to the slow economic and social development of the country, but even with the developments that have occurred in the past two decades, these habits persist.

This paradoxical state is well-entrenched and has been present long before the liberalization of India. I find myself astounded that the culture responsible for the invention of the Kama Sutra, and in whose wedding ceremonies, the bride and groom make promises of fulfilling sexuality to one another, also maintains that women should not show their shoulders and knees in public. This can be attributed to beliefs  held by the various religions present in each state, but again, with economic and social development, the change in these norms is very slow.

Though many of these practices seem counterintuitive to an observing visitor, I have to admit, they add to the charm and character of the country. I’m quickly beginning to see that India is like no where else in the world and what’s more is that within the various cities and states, the differences abound, so that in fact there is no “one” India, and yet, nothing can compare to all that is India.

A First Look at the TAI Cultural Tour of India

After months of paperwork, preparation and packing, our group from SMU finally set out for India. During a brief layover in Chicago several of us took the opportunity to enjoy an ”American” meal at Chili’s.  After savoring one last delicious, albeit ridiculously overpriced, airport cheeseburger we boarded the flight for Delhi.

The passengers on the flight were split pretty evenly between Americans and Indian natives.  It was interesting to be on a plane where the second language spoken during the safety instructions was Hindi, rather than Spanish (as is usually the case on flights out of Dallas).

The flight, although fourteen hours long, was actually pretty pleasant; great service, clean facilities and very quiet, polite passengers. Based on Dr. Alvey’s recommendation, I decided to be a  little adventurous and give the Indian, vegetarian meal a try. I REALLY liked half of it; the only problem was that I didn’t know which half!  The Indian menu items were in Hindi. I made a mental note to start writing down the names of all the Indian cuisine I liked so I could be sure to order it again.

First Impressions of India

Upon exiting the airplane, I could have sworn that I had just landed at any major airport in the United States. The sleek, modern design of Delhi International was an incredible display of the infrastructure improvements taking place in India’s capital. The only indication that we were in India were the signs giving directions throughout the airport, which were listed first in English, then in Hindi. There were vending machines for Coca Cola and Pepsi throughout the terminal and the duty-free stores were well stocked with a selection of American liquor, food and cigarette brands. “Maybe this place is more developed than people let on,” I thought to myself as we made our way to the baggage claim.

I was wrong! We rounded a corner to go through customs to find a uniformed guard holding an automatic rifle. It was a little unsettling, but given the the terrorist attacks that have taken place here in recent years, the Indian government has increased security measures, to an extreme, in all major tourist areas. More surprises followed as we exited the building. The area surrounding the airport  was in various states of construction. Unlike construction sites in the U.S., which are typically blocked by barricades and covered chain link fences, the entire area was open for all who left the airport to see the workers huddled under makeshift tents, and the concrete and rebar that was strewn about the work zone. As we made our way to our awaiting shuttle, we were greeted by four or five stray but docile, dogs looking for a bite to eat. Meanwhile, the airport employees and construction workers paid them no mind and went about their business as usual. As our shuttle pulled away from e airport, we had driven only a quarter of a mile before seeing a cow meandering along the street.

So much for feeling like we’re in the U.S.!